Full of nothing

The only thing on my mind are daily things - school, children, church, etc.  Right now I wonder what is going on at school with the boys and their teachers, because I am getting precious little feedback.  And I am anxious to get school going in full swing, but I am having troubles with getting childcare.  And there is Perry, who as a mature puppy disappointed the snot out of me tonight.  Life goes on, and throughout the minor things that get in the way -  all is well.  Praise be to God!

That means I am just plain old crazy but God is not. :)

I get mad when I am lied to and I get mad when the truth is told.
At least God never changes!  Praise be to God!

Age Discrimination in Our Fast Paced Society

This is a peeve of mine; the increase of negative thoughts and feelings toward the older citizens of our country.  As I am headed towards the big 4-0 in the next two years, I wonder when this discrimination will come my way.  I am after all, a mom in college trying for a career full of young women. 

The church I attend is almost primarily senior adults.  We have hard time attracting younger families because as one person put it, "It is like going to a nursing home when I go to your church."  Who cares if the folks are older?  Does that make them uncool?  Definitely not!  Most of the coolest people I know are senior citizens that have lived rich full lives that exceed our selfish tech-filled existences. 

So what if an older person is a little slower?  Does that make their thoughts and words dumber?  Just because their words and actions do not compute at top warp speed, does not make them past usefulness.  A word to the younger generation that feels that anyone past 40 is old -  you will be there sooner than you think.  The Golden Rule applies very nicely here. 

While I am spouting off advice, I would like to encourage those who are getting older to get off their duffs and get active.  If you don't use it, you will lose it.  That means muscles and brain. 

Pride

My newly 4 year old Kathleen took her first ballet/tap class today.  She was perfect.  I mean she was better than most of the girls in the class and she had never taken any type of class before.  She listened to the teacher, and imitated everything demonstrated.  She didn't play around or pick her nose.  She was actively participating, learning, and smiling a huge over-the-moon smile the entire time.  I was watching from the waiting room window, a smile a mile wide of my own.  I know the other parents waiting in that room thought I was a complete idiot; those dried up prunes of parents barely glanced through the window at their darlings.  Kathleen was clearly the star of this show, dancing with as much skill and enthusiasm as I would expect from her after a year of lessons.  I know I had a little tunnel vision as I sat in that waiting room, bubbly and excited for my daughter, my baby, my prima ballerina, my Kathleen.   

Creepy Stalker Status

I just realized that the Blogger blog I click on the most is able to see the traffic I create on his blog.  Since a lot of his favorite links are my favorites, I just use his blog as a jumping page - thereby creating a hit list of several visits a day.  I assure you, Dr. Grumpy, that I do not stalk you!

Nurses

I have heard a number of incredible stories of stupid nurses this past week.  Dr. Grumpy posts about a patient who happens to be a nurse not knowing basic anatomy in relationship to common syndromes.  I heard another personal anecdote from an ex-RN I know that pushed 20ccs of potassium into a nursing home resident because her colleague filled the wrong medication into the syringe and handed it to her.  She didn't even question or ask.  Yes, the resident coded and fortunately was saved.  I know another nurse that I feel is just not very intelligent at all; she makes all sorts of poor health choices and her personal hygiene would scare a vulture off of its food.

I am in the process of trying to get accepted into our local nursing degree program and it is competitive and tough.  I am doing well with hard work, but I cannot help but wonder how are these not so smart nurses getting through?  Perhaps I have an inflated personal opinion about my intelligence.  However, my good grades do not lie, and I have been scrupulously honest with all the work assigned to me.

I hope they don't cheat.  And I hope even more that there aren't any doctors in the same Dumb Boat that cheated their way into a MD.

Why "Crowned with Victory?"

I love how in the Bible, names actually have meaning and reason behind them.  For instance, there are several names for God himself indicated in Scripture.  He is El Shaddai (God Almighty), Yahweh (He is), Adonai (All Majesty), Emmanuel (God with us), or simply Abba (Daddy).  Characters in the Bible also were named specific names, for example Daniel means "God is my judge" and Matthew means "Gift of God." 

I have always known the reason my mother named me Laurie.  She chose that name from Little Women, the March family's friend was Laurie.  She liked the name and chose to name me thus.  I have always liked my name, and eventually it not only named me, but became an important part of my identity. 

After my mother died two years ago, I suffered through a time of intense insecurity that was hard to pinpoint.  I just thought it was grief but eventually I came to realize that it was a feeling of loss that went deeper than the hurt of missing my mom.  When I lost Mommy, I lost the one person on earth that would love me unconditionally, no matter what.  And yet, that isn't true.  I have a Savior who loves me more than she ever did.  I know that in my heart and struggled to feel it in my walk.  After she died, I felt like a useless wanderer of the Earth, loving with intensity but feeling unloved in return.   I also knew in my heart that it isn't true, but I felt that way all the same. 

God showed me the meaning of my name at this time.  There was a Sunday School lesson that detailed some meanings of names, and at first I wasn't so interested.  I knew that Laurie was a masculine name for Laurel, and the name Laurel meant "crowned with laurel leaves" -  yeah, that is pretty dull.  But what is a crown of laurel leaves?  Well in ancient Rome, it was worn in triumph after winning a battle.  In Greece, the laurel crown was given to winners in athletic competitions.  Scholars received laurel crowns upon graduation, hence the term "baccalaureate"

In other words, Laurie, derived from Laurel, means "crowned with victory."  What an amazing meaning behind my name!  It was an uplifting moment at that point in my life, feeling as I did about who I was in the world.  God showed me in perfect timing that I was not just Laurie, whom nobody cares about other than her children, but Laurie, Crowned with Victory, that is, loved by Jesus Christ, and crowned with HIS victory on the cross.  There is no greater love than a man who lays down his life for his friends (John 15:13) - Jesus did that for me, and for all creation.  I am loved, and Crowned with Victory.

Mom/Student/Wife/Myself in Limbo

Today was one of those odd days, full of activity and contact with just about every sort of person I know.  I started out the day with my children of course, and it is always nice to start the day on familiar, loving ground.  But wait!  5 minutes before I walked out the door to carpool the boys to school, my friend called and wanted to go shopping with Kathleen and I to get Kathleen a birthday dress.  That sounded fun and I jumped on it, only we had a peds appointment that morning.  So it was a day like this: school - home - doctor - home - store with our friend - ice cream for Kathleen who got 4 immunizations today - quick run to the craft store - school - home - my school - home.  I talked two tons on the phone today.  I started chemistry today.  I checked out the ballet school that was recommended for Kat.  I read my developmental psych chapter and did some homework for that class.  Then there was the daily stuff that I always gets done but is too boring to mention, like dinner, walking the dog, and ignoring the clean laundry pile.

I suppose the entire point of this post is to state that I did so many different things today and made such an effort to get it all done right, that Laurie got lost for a while. 

Flaming balls of frugal stink!

I have a bag of very expensive puppy kibble that I purchased.  About 1/3rd into the bag, I discovered that it was too rich of a diet for my dog, and I switched to another brand.  Now I have about 12 pounds of uneaten kibble that cost the Earth.  Being ever watching of those pennies, and needing dog treats for my puppy to use as training incentive, I decide to make homemade dog treats out of the leftover bag of kibble.  Folks, don't try this at home.  Trust me, hot baked dog food does NOT make one's home smell very nice.  Tomorrow I will be hitting the local grocery for some good ol' Milk Bones.  That 4 dollars doesn't look so expensive now.

Fears

Yesterday our power went out.  For some unknown reason, the power has been going out a lot on our little patch of earth.  The children hate it, and do not understand why the power goes out, but the laptop still works, and why cached video games are still available, yet the rest of the internet is not working.  That is a concept that is beyond the mind of a six year old, I guess.  The power came back on an hour later.  When bedtime rolled around, my six year old freaked out about using the bathroom because he was afraid the power would go out while he was in there.  I cannot say I was very sympathetic at that point.  All I wanted for him to do was wash his hands and get into bed and go to sleep, and here he was throwing a hissy fit about going in the brightly lit room to get that little chore done. 

I remember a few of my fears.  I remember laying awake at night, having to pee so very badly, but too afraid to go across the hall to use the bathroom.  My bed was the epitome of safety.  Rain gutters on the side of the road were impossible to pass for fear I would - be sucked in? - I cannot remember WHY I was afraid of those gutters, but they were impassable. 

Now that I have a few irrational memories back in place in my mind, I hope I will be more empathetic to my child whose great fear is the power going out in the bathroom at night.

Spun Sugar Syndrome

Apparently, most of the children at the local elementary school suffer from this debilitating malady.  It requires the utmost care and upkeep, for instance, during any rainfall event that occurs, the affected child must be carpooled to school and let out under the protective canopy of the breezeway only.  There can be no exceptions to this preventive treatment, and all other carpoolers will just have to suck it up and join the highway queue to get into the school parking lot.  One drop of rainwater may be fatal for such a child. 

First

The more time I take to think about what this blog will all be about, the more time slips by, reminding me that the ultimate starting point of this endeavor is to find my voice, the flavor of me that pushes through my written words.  So this will be at first, a ramble through my life, my eyes, my thoughts.  Later I hope this will become more unified and direct, a clear voice with a purpose.  Frankly, it was only a month ago that I scorned the thought of starting a blog.  Most readers will agree that there is already so much drivel published on the internet, why on earth would I want to add to it?  Well, to practice writing for one.

I have wanted to be a published author for as long as I can remember.  It was a student teacher in high school that shot me down.  She had us all write a short story, using The Devil and Daniel Webster by Benét as our inspiration.  I worked so hard, was so proud, so thrilled with the creation I presented to the class.  I eagerly read it aloud to the class, the chore of public speaking, for once a delight.  Ms. _?  (I confess I do not remember her name) gathered our papers to grade.  The next week she returned them, announcing to the class at large that she had put a red check mark on those papers she felt were so wonderful that we should become authors.  I am sure you can see where this is going - I did not receive that check mark.  Disappointed, I turned to other interests, but the writing dream did not die, it just was tucked away.  Twenty years wiser now, I am putting away the advice from some student teacher who did not see enthusiasm as the proper talent for writing, and I am trying again.  However, I must brush up those rusty skills and I do hope my readers enjoy whatever topics I manage to come up with.